The Most Important International Factor

I may have come up with the most important cultural learning of all time. That key to conversation, business and intimate relationships abroad.

Humor.

I have been thinking about those I have come closest to in the least amount of time and the factor that has been at play the most has been my sense of humor. Humor IS an international language, but it is certainly not internationally transferable. That which is funny to me is certainly not funny here in Kenya (without going out of my way to speak to their humor).

Think about anyone you have met from abroad... what is the first icebreaker you tried? Perhaps a short anecdote? Maybe a joke about a computer salesman? Did it flop harder than a fat kid off the diving board? No doubt the awkward silence that followed your witty little whimsy made you think twice before dishing out some of your patented fart jokes.

While humor can be a HUGE tool of influence and communication, it is really tough to decide what sort of jokes to use.

For instance, I have noticed that Kenyan's seem to really love slap-stick humor. I remember sitting through a kung-fu movie called "Kung-fu Hustle" with a buddy of mine here. While it was mildly humorous, I couldn't see why he was losing his mind at parts where someone was hit in the privates or where someone got hit with a flower pot after they fell from a building window.

Not only those, stories about weird encounters or sexual follies seem to be hot topic in the humor circles here in Kenya.

While it is extremely difficult to determine this sort of thing without sitting through a MINIMUM of a month of jokes and stories, there are some sure-fire ways to improve your chances of not insulting a business partner or destroying a hook-up opportunity with a few quick words.

Topical Humor: A BIG no-no.

Is your president a big monkey-face? Did a blond throw a bird off a cliff to kill it? Is your grandmother SO old she thinks hip-hop is a rabbit?

No one cares or gets it. Especially if you are trying to use humor that applies to a certain region. If you were to tell someone here that your cousin once had to be rushed to the hospital because he rushed to 50 in WoW, or if someone here was to tell you that the Matatu driver was going so fast that he made the road seem smooth as glass... you just won't get it. SO just take all of those Chuck Norris jokes you have been saving to tell people on your trip to Thailand and throw them out the window with that old bum who was causing trouble at Central. (Note not funny as you have no idea what I am talking about).

Perhaps even worse than topical humor lies the inside joke:

You know.. no matter how many times I have used lines like "Arrr... I'm not attractive" or "You know what??? I feel like partying right now!" no one seems to laugh.

WAIT a second.. that is because it is only funny to the 2 other people who know what the hell is going on. I find myself quoting my favorite inside jokes at the most inappropriate moments. So now that we have cleared our humor banks of Rick James and Family Guy.. we should be ready to move on to some more complex humor lessons:

The when and where of humor:

It plays a serious role in every country. Where IS it appropriate to bust out your newest "Yo Momma" joke?

The answer is so different depending on the country. Here at the dinner table, humor seems to be off the table, especially if you are staying with a host family. It is a time for reflection and eating, and jokes will usually get shot down regardless of how good they are.

Parties are a MUST for humor, if you think that drinking a beer in a second or bouncing quarters with a fury will get you props.. think again. You better bring your A-Game if you think you will be a hit at a party here in Kenya.

Back home I have heard jokes being busted out at funerals, so I think that it is safe to say that we are pretty liberal with humor in regards to timing... of course it depends on the people you are with, but speaking in generalities...

Anyway, as a rule it is best to speak to someone who has been to a country before you leave for it. But make sure you include the type of humor that works in that country in the questions you ask about. If you can think of any social situation you could find yourself, humor will play a huge role. I am finally getting the type of jokes to use here in Kenya down, and let me tell you that it is paying DIVIDENDS in relationships here!

Stay amusing,

Devan

PS: Check the leadership blog! The conference kicked some serious behind and it was a big learning experience for me on SO many levels!